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Wednesday, September 18, 2013

YOUR COMPUTER AND THE RAZOR'S EDGE!


MY MIND IS CONSTANTLY TITTERING ON THE RAZOR'S EDGE . . .

 

- Since, July 31, 2013 - I have been having computer/software problems. The reason I know it was July 31, 2013 at 7:24 PM DST is because that's when my computer auto-downloaded some new and improved crap from Microsoft - so I could enjoy the Microsoft experience better!
 
I had pings and dings going off in every speaker. I watched as boxes piled on top of boxes providing error message after error message. Each being smothers by the next, having only a second to inform and then, BAM! disappearing into the unknown abyss of software code.
 
I panicked. I began shut down procedures but it wasn't fast enough - the damage had already been done. Microsoft had raped and pillaged my system and I had no idea what to do!
 
HP, MS and Google all became combatants in their need to survive. HP said, "I can fix it"; Windows said, "Believe HP Not - only I can fix the problems because I'm the more trusted brand; Google, well, poor Google - it's pictures were all askew and the numbers . . . it was horrible, some big, some small, it was like a train wreck or an auto accident you just can't look away from.
 
So, I put Google out of its misery and uninstalled it. I was sorry to see it go. We'd had such a great relationship for so many years but  . . .  all the pretty ponies.
 
Somehow, on that fateful day,  IE10 got downloaded too (gee, I wonder how that happened, MS?) And, it seemed to be pushing Mozilla/Fox like a drug pusher on a dark city corner, and I was in need of a fix.
 
So, I installed it. OMG Armageddon! HP refused to work with it - just refused. So, I thought, "fuck you HP and bye bye'. But that didn't solve my problem. HP insisted on being let back in - and without my knowledge crept in through seams I thought sealed.
 
I was in flux! Nothing was remembered, nothing stored! I didn't know my passwords - that was Google's job and every time IE popped up to ask if I wanted to remember a password - it just made me sad that I no longer had Google, my trusted work buddy, my memory, my  . . . everything.
 
Three days with Mozilla/Fox and one of us had to die! The absurdity, the extra crap it put on my toolbar, how it recklessly invited other toolbars to 'come on in, she won't mind', the endless questions regarding pop-ups . . . and where the fuck were all my passwords - why was nothing remembering them. I don't care when you delete my file history, I shouted,  I just want my password to Twitter! I just want to communicate with those I know on Google+!
 
So, I uninstalled it! I pushed those keys with impunity, my fingers pounced on the 'yes' box, when asked "Are you sure?" I was never more sure of anything in my life! (Sidebar: is anyone else annoyed with the phrase "are you sure?" like I am. Each time I say, Of course I'm sure dumbass or we wouldn't be on this page!)
 
By uninstalling Mozilla/Fox I was able to obtain my Google+ connections again. No more was I waiting and watching the tiny circle going round and round in the endless pursuit of an event that was never going to happen!
 
So now, some things work, other's not so much. I've taken my computer off the 'god is good' shelf and placed it on the 'first thing I'd destroy if the world was ending' shelf.
 
I no longer view the mega-conglomerates as deity's of intelligence - Now, well . . . here's an example:

You get in your car that is spotlessly clean and meticulously maintained, by you. You put the key in the ignition, turn it and it is suppose to start -- when it doesn't you take it to a mechanic who says:
 
      "Yeah, lady, it's not the security code number - like the machine says, it's the tailpipe blowing the air out of the combustion chamber too fast, so you'll need a new windshield."
 
Computers have stooped to that level and just like cars,  you never trust a thing they say. When I went for help (Microsoft.com) and they tell me"Error code 0x80073b01 can only be fixed by removing and reinstalling MSEI.exe and so you do that and a new error code 0x8004FF81 pops up telling you - NEVER MIND ABOUT THAT FIRST FIX you need to do this now! AND, you're running an old version of MSEI.exe which needs to be updated. Then when you go to do that - that function is not available.
 
After several scathing messages to MS (which they never got because 'that function is not available, either) I've simply decided to live with It! 
 
Besides, I think the true culprit involved in throwing me and my computer's balance off the razor's edge, is the piece of shit HP C7280 Printer.

It won't print because the ink cartridges (which are full BTW)  have 'expired'! Additionally, using expired cartridges will void my warranty . . . are they kidding????  EXPIRED? INK IN A CLOSED CONTAINER DOES NOT EXPIRE!!! As for the warranty -- really, did it ever really have one? I mean really? We all know you don't mean what you say, when you print that 'Warranty' information.
 
Frustrated though I am,  my final admonishment is to and for, myself - for not just picking up a pencil and a pad of paper or finding a cheap thrift store typewriter . . . but then I'm back to the ink!
 
Dog chases tail.
 
Until next time . . .
 

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